What is the difference between Complete & Finished?
.
.
If you have many friends, your life is Complete.
.
.
If they all are girls, your life is Finished.
New style of proposing=
"Njan Ennum Ninte Pirake Nadakunnath Pole Naale
Ente Makan Ninte Makalude Pirake Nadakathirikan Namuk Avare nammude makkal Aakkikude!?
Perudosham, Chovvadosham, Drishtidosham..
enningane doshangal palavidham..
ennal vivahathode marunna doshamundu..
athu ethanu ennariyamo?
"SANDOSHAM!"
1 Hand on pen
Othr on PHONE
1 ear on lecture
Othr on GOSSIP
1 eye on board
Othr on girl
Which idiot said coleg life is eASY...
Don't stand too much in front of MIRROR
Even d mirror vl fal in lov wit u luking at ur BEAUTY
For more JOKES recharge Rs50/month to my numbr. :-)
How do we know when kids start 2 grown up?
Ans:girls grow up when they start 2 put lipstick and boys grow up when they start 2 wipe it off
Top3 sweetest sleep..
3.slpng on moms lap wen v r tired..
2.slpng on lover shoulder wen v r sad..
1.slpng wit
opened eyes wen our teachers r teaching....!!!
In an Old Man's Shirt written a cute sentence :
''I Am Not 60 Years Old..,
I Am Sweet 16 with 44 years Experience....''
Thats Attitude.
Newtons First Law of ishq
the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite
to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals!!
Lover: "Sometimes I feel that waiting 4 u in my life, is like waiting for bus at a railway station.
If u Find My Msgs Irritating, Nuisance & Troublesome,ur Free to Throw ur cellphone. Your Happiness is more important to me than ur Phone
A sweet fight:
Girl: "I want to end our relationship.. I am going to return everything you gave me.."
Boy: "Ok.. Then let's start with love..!
Way 2 propose a girl. Take her 2 sea, Say her 2 sit in a boat. Then take d boat in d middle of sea. say Marry Me' r 'Leave My Boat'.. Hows it???
A Beautiful monkey. escaped from the Banglur Zoo.... No...No...that is not you......beacauz... That is a '''BEAUTIFUL MONKEY'''
Aadyamayi Thoniya, Ithuvare Parayatha
Ente Sneham Njan Avalodu Paranju. ...
Pakaram Ithuvare Thonaatha....
Aarodum Parayaatha....
Njanpolum Kelkaatha....
'PACHATHERI' Muzhuvan Avalennodu Paranju.
Kaalam Maari
Kude Penkuttikalum...
:(
D most practical msg
Dont b sad wen u c ur ex boyfrnd/ex girl frnd-flirting wid sum1 else
cum on yaar
learn 2 share ur old toys2 poor kids
3 negro frendz walkin alon r sudenly stoppd by an angel.
D Angel gav dem a chance 2 mak 1 wish each.
.
1st negro says,"Al my lyf i wntd 2 b white,plz mak me White" n in a *FLASH*, he bcmes Fair n Hndsum. 2nd Negro also sd,"ME TOO", ¤Flash¤! He 2 bcme Fair.
.3rd Negro ws :-D Laughng hs Head Off n da Angel says,
."Do stop laughng n tel me ur WISH!!" thn he says,
.
.
"Make dis Two guys Black again":-D
Frnds alwaz rock..!:-D
be careful.!
Items in boy's room
before marriage-
Perfums, Lov letrs, Bike Key, Laptop, N97, iphone,Peter England Pant&Shirt. Levis tshrt,beer.bottles...
After marriage:-
Vicks Action 500, Loan Papers , Unpaid bills , Nokia1100, KSRTC Bus Tkt, Tirupur cotton pant and banian...
so enjoy ur "BACHELOR" LIFE..
Kingfisher Employee:
Sir For The Past 15 Days Not a Single Bottle Have Been Sold
V.Mallya:
Call d calicut university &Ask Them 2 Announce Results
Puli urangumbol nammal puliye unarthiyalum, nammal urangumbol Puli nammale unarthiyalum, pani namuku thanne
So, Don't disturb ME!
I'm going to sleep.
Gudnite!
Boys r very kind while Girls r very mean.
Proof-
most of d Girls dont like 2 help unknown Boy.
Bt all Boys r alwaz rdy 2 help any unknwn Girl...;-) isnt it !
Why boys& grls
Dnt Undrstnd Ech Othr?
God=Bcoz,I Gave
Gud Brains To boys
&
Gud Hearts To girls
Bt
boys Use Their Heart
&
girls Use Their Brains!
Ration kadayude mumbil neenda Q
Athilek oraal 5 pravashyam idichu kayaraan noki
5 vattavum mattullavar ayale purathaki
Ayaal: Ennal innu kada thurakkunnilla.
Funny Definitions:
1) Fashion: Lungi with a zip
2) Laziness: Asking lift for a morning walk.
3) Craziness: Get blank paper xeroxed.
4) Honesty: Pregnent women taking 2 tickets.
5) Dehydration: Cow giving milk powder. 6)Over confidence: A 99 years old woman purchasing a lifetime sim card..
Coolest MOM of the millenium
girl: mom,i want some fresh air, Can i go 4 a walk?
Mom: yes,but tell ur "fresh air" to drop u home bEFORE 7pm!!!
Love is what when a boy comes late in cls nd he is busy in giving explanations 2 the teacher but his eyes get busy in seeing whether shez der
Never kiss a policeman wife.she will say hands up,
Never kiss a lady doctor,she will say next pls,
Always kiss teacher,bcoz she tell repeat it ten times!!
Guide standin b4 a tourist group:
I welcom u al 2 Niagra falls.This s d worlds largest waterfall & sound intensity of
d waterfall s so high,even 20 super sonic planes passin cant b heard! Now may I request d ladies 2 keep quiet
so dat v can hear d Niagra Falls!
Oridathu Sundariyaya oru penkuttiyum Sundharanaya oru aankuttiyum undayirunnu. Avarku parasparam ishtamayirunnu, pakshe thurannu paranjittilla. Palappozhum avanu parayanam ennundayirunnu. Angane oru Sunday,
Avan ellamparayan theerumanichu. Pakshe vidhi avarku ethirayirunnu. Avante phonil balance 0.00
Ningalkkum avane sahayikam. Pls Recharge to 99**47***0 AIRTEL. Vidhi avare onnipikatte Namuku prarthikam.
Orikkal thozhimarumayi DAMAYANTHY neeraduvan poykayileykku purappettu...
.
.
.
.
kuthi kuthi Nokkanda.. kuli seen ithil illa..!:-P
85% of Lecturers are suffering from throat cancer prblm by teaching studnts,So plz CUT the clases as much as possible & save our Lecturers!
By a sincere studnt.
Technical Beauty tip :
If u waNt 2 remove ur Pimples,Face marks &
d signs of skin aging try..
"ADOBE PHOTOSHOP"
It Realy works..
U find boyz holdn gal's hands&walkin in shopn malls.u knw y?
Coz f dey leav deir hand dey'l strt purchasng!
It luks vry ROMNTIC bt actly ts ECONOMIC..;-)
Njan Bhaayi..
Khader baayi..
Njan thaamasikkunnad
Bombaayi..
Ente aniyan Chota Bhaayi..
Ente jeshttan
Bada Bhaayi..
Njan janitchath Dubaayi..
Ente cherippu Hawaayi..
Njan thinnunnath Mittaayi..
Ente car
Hundaayi..
Sathyamayum njan ee
paranjathellaam Badaayi..
E sms
Enikkaayi,.
Ninakkaayi,
Ormakkaayi,
kallummakkaayi.
Ithu vayicha nee pottanayi. mandanayi.
E msg
Ivide Avasanikukayaayi.
Ithu vallaatha kashttamayi.
Gud Bye....
"Kuttikal cheyyunna
thettukal irutine
undakkunu."
-Swami Vivekananda
"Iruttil cheyyuna
thettukal kutikale
undakunu."
-Swami Nityananda
Galileo usd2 stdy wit smal lamp.
Grahambel usd2 stdy in candle,
Shkspere usd2 stdy in street light.
Enikku manasilakatathu athalla, evammarkku pakal entha pani?
Evry tear is a sign of kayyilirip ,
evry silence is a sign of balance illayma,
evry smile is a sign of daily brushing,
evry sms is a symbol f thozhilillayma.
Der ws a girl who ws tired of readng her luvr's msgs which alwyz zd I lv u,
I miss u,or had ur fud?
1 n8 she rcvd a msg frm him bt didn't read it,Instd she slept.
D nxt day she gt a cl frm her lvr's mom who zd dat,"Her son gt car acident n died last nyt'
She den red d msg in wich it ws writtn
"Dr pls cum n frnt of ur house,i met wit n accident its my last wsh 2 c u plz"
moral:
"chaavan kidakumbozhum free msg theerkan nokaruth!vilichu thanne parayanam"
How to k¡ll ä girl?
Give her a
beautiful dress
Nice jewelry
Costly cosmotics
And lock her in ä room
without mirror.. ¡ts enough.;-)
What is Mobile Phone???
.
.
.
.
.
Enthina thazhottu press cheyyunnath?
Kayyil ullathentha coin boxano...?
Athu thanneya mobile phone...!
'Sometimes my mind asks.
Why?
why?
why?
I care 4 u..
why?
I remember u..
why?
I sms u..
why?
then my heart
answers..
Its simply bcoz
SMS IS FREE FOR ME!!:-)
GALILEO:Gr8 mind
EINSTEIN:Genius mind
NEWTON:Xtraordnry mind
BILL GATES:Brilnt mind
but WE:
Never MIND...
Lets continue rockkin.
Railwayil job vacancy vannitundu!
Apply cheyunno? Salary 200000/-.
Job details : Rajadhani expressinte head light kedayi.
Tourch adichu kond munnil odanam.!!!
Last Nite d Devils Came To My Room.
They Wanted To Trouble Good People.
I Suggested ur Name 2 Them .
They Said
''OH ! NO!
We Cant Disturb Our BOSS!''
Speciality of girls:
karnataka-dresing
Chenai-Stylish
Punjab-Colourful
Mumbai- Hot
Andhra-Attractive
Kerala-Onumilengilum
ahankarathinu oru kuravumilla...
The law states that "If u can't convince someone, then confuse them"
U know which law it is ?
This is
"LAW OF ANSWERING IN HIGHER SECONDARY EXAMINATION"
Boy: I lyk dat girl.
Frnd: she has a boyfrnd!
Boy: Luk, A goalpost alwyz has a goalkeepr
but that doesnt mean u can't score goals..!!
Wedding INVESTMENT : Average 30 yrs
Rs.20,00,000 Marriage expenses
Rs.30,000 Monthly expenditure
Rs.3,000 Wife's monthly maintainence
RETURNS: SEX
First 5 yrs Weekly 3 Times.
Next 5 yrs Weekly 1 Time.
Next 10 yrs Once in 15 days.
Next 10 yrs Once in a month.
Meaning-
1400 times sex in 40 years for an estimated expenditure of a whooping 1,78,40,000
+
Opportunity cost on 20,00,000 spent on wedding at 7% for 40 years as per current Post-tax FIxed Deposit Interest rate
2,98,48,915.68
= 4,77,88,915.68
COST
A Man spends Rs.34,135 for each time he has Sex with his Wife.
Outsourcing is cheaper..Think over it'
Crack: Do u know English?
Jack: S Crack:Ok!Then tel wat is opp of NAAG PANCHAMI?
Jack: Simple Yar NAAG DO NOT PUNCH ME.
Best caption 4 d clock above Calicut University building
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
'' TIME WILL PASS,BUT WILL U EVER PASS"?
No comments:
Post a Comment