Begger: Hi Darling!!!
She angrily: How dare u cal me Darling...?
Begger: then wat r u doing on my bed.!!!
I Never C wat i hav done, I alwys C only wat is remaining -BILLGATES
I nvr ask wat u hav studied, I ask only wat u hav not studied
-QUESTION. PAPER.
Question: If you are married to 1 of the twin sisters, how wud you recognize your WIFE...? The Best Answer: . . . . . . . . . Hell, Why Should I...?
"Dont be sad when you see your ex boy/girl friend flirting with somone else... Come on yaar, learn to donate your "Old Toys" to Poor Kids
WHY does Popcorn jumps wen its put on stove? Y? . . ? ? ? . . . . . . U just sit on the stove,then you will know WHY It jumps.
Did you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac? Strange but true!!!!
Every brthr in dis wrld wl nt alow hs sistr 2 spk 2 a guy on d cel @ midnit. Bt evry guy surly myt b xptng sm1's sistr 2 talk 2 him @ midnyt Strange bt true..
A Wife buys 5underwears of the same Colour for her hubby..
Hubby protests: Why did u buy for me all of the Same Colour? People will think I never change my underwear!
Wife Asks: Which people?... ? ?
Total Silence...
MORAL: ALWAYS THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK, PARTICULARLY WITH WIFE!
Teacher : what do u want to become ?
Ram - doctor
Teacher. - why?
Ram - bcoz its only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes!!
Wen sum1 touches u & u dnt feel it,its IGNORANCE.
Whn sum1 touches u & u feel it,its LOVE.
Whn nobody Touches u bt u feel it Just Run!
its a GHOST..
6 true facts stil hidden frm us:
1.90% of people in australia dont drink milk.
2.snake's vision is upto 5km.
3.a man can touch sun if his body is completly surrounded by mercury.
4.no twins hav been born til now in greenland.
5.zebra doesnt hav liver.
6.all the above details r false.
Thanx 4 belivng 4 a while, today is not april 1. But fool is fool on any date.!!
Five Pearls of Wisdom
1. Money can't buy happiness, but somehow its more comfortable to sit N cry in a BMW than on a cycle;)
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard's face;)
3. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again;)
4. Many people are alive only because its illegal to shoot them;) &
5. Alcohol doesn't solve any problem, but then, neither does milk...
If u forget me, i'll hang myself wid noodles, cut my hand wid a rubber knife blast my head with a water Gun. stop smiling u idiot i'm serious dont 4get me!
Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother Has it. Der is only one perfect wife in the World and every neighbor have it.
Q:- Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? A:- Its a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins...
This line can change millions of lifes: If you cant change a girl, just change the girl...
AFTER ENGAGEMENT
HE: Yes, I waited so long for this
SHE: Do U want me to leave?
HE: No don't even think of it
SHE: Did U luv me?
HE: Yes I did, I'm doing & I'll do
SHE: Did U ever cheat me?
HE: I'll die than doing it
SHE: Will U kiss me?
HE: Surely, that's my Pleasure
SHE: Will U hurt me?
HE: No way, I'm nt such a kind of person
SHE: Can I trust U?
HE: Yes
SHE: Oh Dear To Know
AFTER WEDDING>>read it from bottom to top<<
Q. How to Kill an Ant? asked in exam fr 5marks Student: Mix Chilli Powder wid Sugar & keep it outside d Ant's Hole. After eating, Ant will search 4 Some Water near a Water Tank. Push Ant into it..! Now Ant will go 2 dry itself near fire. Wen it reachs near Fire, Put a Bomb into Fire. Then U Admit wounded Ant in ICU. Remove Oxygen mask frm Its Mouth & kill d Ant.. :)
Don't play with students. For 5 marks We wil kill even lions also..No claps plz.
Different Phases of a man: After engagement: Superman After Marriage: Gentleman After 10 years: Watchman After 20 years: Doberman
Q: If a devil catches ur wife, wat wud u do? Sardar: U can do nothin. If devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences!!
Balance sheet of life :ü "
Birth=Opening Balance
Death=Closing Balance
parents=Fixed Asset.
Brain=Fixed Deposit,
Heart=Current A/C
Friends=General Reserve
Behaviour=Goodwill
Love =Bad debts..
Family=current liabilities
Studys=Investment .
Age=deprication.
Relatives=Expenses
Because, Basically i'm an Bcom Student...'
Ultra Height of Lazyness- Sleeping and Dreaming. In dreaming also sleeping and dreaming about sleeping
Dis wil surely touch ur heart. . . . STETHOSCOPE No claps plz;) Thank you..
Engineering student's method of answering.
Q) Expln working of Wein bridge oscillator? Ans)Wein bridge oscillator is an oscillator. It is a bridge type oscillator. It cosists of a bridge. Wein is te scientist who invented tis oscillator. Ther r many kinds of oscillators ,Eg:Wein bridge oscillor. It is known as an oscillator bcoz it oscillates. Thus, tis is how wein bridge oscillator works.
D best present 2 give To a frnd: HONSTY To ur enmy: FORGIVENES To ÃœR parents: GRATEFULNES To ur lover: UR LIFE To Me: 1) Apple Iphone 3GS 2) Ipod touch 64 GB 3) Sony VAIO Laptop 4) 70" Sony Bravia LCD TV 5) Nikon 32MP Camera 6) Audi A8 car.. 'dats al....am a simple frnd wit simpl demnds!
Funny world but its a fact: 20 years Back, 1 idly was 10paise & 1 call was 5 Rupees But today, 1 call is 10 paise & 1 idly is 5 Rupees...
A MATHEMATICAL WEDDING INVITATION... Mr & Mrs. Algebra welcomes u for wedding of their SonDifferentiation withIntegration ( D/O Mr&Mrs. Calculus )
Place:Matrix hall 5,parallel line st, Square root tower, Permutation Nagar, Near polynomial hospital.
With best compliments from: Mr &Mrs.Vectors, Mr&Mrs. Theorem,
Bus route: tan60,cos180, sec45,cot30, sin90.,
Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, forgot laughter were called "Saints" But nw they r called.. "IT professionals"
ONE OF THE BEST MSG EVER:: Poor men walks miles and miles to earn food... And Rich men walk miles and miles to digest food...
There was a competition between 'PULSAR 180' and 'APACHE 180' on the road. but, finally the winner is . . . . . . "AMBULANCE 108" Drive safely..
Happiness tips:Whenevr u hav any problem Jus sing any song Then u'l realise tat Ur voice is.. A Lot worse dan ur problm....!!!!
How 2 confuse a Mental patient..? . . . . . . . . . . Ans: By a pineapple...! . . . "Are u CONFUSED?" I know it works...!
A gud frnd wil cum 2 see wen u r in jaiL.. But A true frnd can't,,, bcoz he is sitting next 2 u saying " Now you are happy na?? "
Amazing bt true: If u rearange dis lettrs u wil get de followin: *Dormitory=Dirty room *Astronomer=Moon starer *The eyes=They see *Mother in law=Woman hitler *A decimal point= I'm a dot in place *Eleven plus two=Twelve plus one *Princess Diana=A car spin n dies...
Teacher: Can u Define Who Is LECTURER? Student: A LECTURER Is A Person Who Has A Very Bad Habit Of Speaking When Someone is sleeping.
Don't stand too much in front of MIRROR. Even d mirror will fall in love with u, Bcoz ur so cute & dashing.
For more JOKES recharge Rs30/month to my number.
Letter to principal. Respected sir, I am suffering from love, but i am unable to correct the figure, so kindly requesting you to arrange a good homely girl in your relation or neighbour within two days. Thank you, Yours lovingly, Ur future Son in Law..!
A cigarette reduces a mans life by 8 minuts.... Smiling increases a mans life by 10 minuts. Moral: A SMILING SMOKER NEVER DIES........ :-) KEEP SMILING n BE A CHAIN SMOKER
Archimedes Law of Love: When a HEART is Dipped Fully or Partially in Love, Then d Loss in Studies is Directly Proportional to Time Spent in Dream..
My quote: "I may not love all the girls who love me. but i really respect their choice".
9 Interesting confusions.
1. Can u cry under water?
2. Do fish ever get thirsty?
3.Why don birds fal out of trees when they sleep?
4.Wat do u cal a male lady bird?
5.Why is it called building when its already built?
6.Wen they say dog food is new and improved in taste, who tastes it?
7.If money doesnt grow on trees den why banks have branches?
8.Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
9.Why doesnt glue stick to its bottle? Keep thinking.....
The DEFINITIONS we altered During COLLEGE :
SPEED:Gettin ready 4 college in 5 min.
SHARING:the whole class copyin one assignment
PRESENTATION SKILL:Can present a similar ans in 5 diff ways for 5 diff ques
EDITING: ur project contains atleast 10 pgs less dan d person 4m whom u copied RECYCLING:We use same books r seniors used & Pass 2 next gen
MULTITASKING: play games in cell,Chat wid friends & Daydream and Stil pretend 2 pay attention
ART:Graffiti art seen best on d benches of lectr halls and last page f notebux
SENSE OF HUMOUR:We provide best unintentional humour 2 our teachers durin vivas..
Why do Indian women pray to God for same husband in next life?
To ensure that the efforts taken to train him in this life,do not go in vain!
Ravanan has 20 eyes but he looks only one girl that's "seetha".
You have only 2 eyes but you look daily 200 girls
Think.
who is the real ravanan??
Dont talk to me ever again..U go your way and I'll go my way..I have no relation with you..
said by x axis to y axis at (0,0)
Couple silent in bed.
Wife thinks :
Why is he not talking to me?
Is he thinking of another woman?
Does he like someone else?
Is he seeing someone?
Don't I appeal to him anymore?
Are wrinkles showing on my face?
Is he trying to dump me?
Is he now finding me ugly?
Have I put on weight at the wrong places?
Does my make up repel him these days.
Is he upset with my nagging?
WHY IS HE UPSET?
Husband thinks :Why the hell did Dhoni give the last over to Nehra?
Boyfrnd & grlfrnd r like 2 tyres of a vehicle.
Evn if 1 of dem punctures,
da vehicle cant move further.
So
So
so
Intelligent ppl always keep an xtra tyre.
A moral story :
My girlfriend invited me 2 her house 1day. I found her sister alone in d house.. She was unbelievably sexy... She whispered in my ear "I have feelings 4 u, shall we have sex "I immediately turned around n walked to d front door to go 2 my bike.. i found my girl friend standing there.. she hugged me n said "you've won my trust".....!!!
MORAL OF D STORY:
Its always better to keep d condoms in d bike, not in pocket....!!
"The road to success is always under construction."
