"Y does she love a rose wich dies in a day and nt me who die for her everyday..!
God replied-
"Wat a dialouge man..Upload it on facebook..!" :DFwd: Wife ws throwin knives on husband's foto.
All were missin the target!
Suddenly she received a call from him, "hi,what r u doing?"
Her honest reply: "MISSING U dear.!"
Husband: Your eyesight is still excellent!
LOVE v/s EXAM -
LOVE: Lot of thoughts in mind,but no guts 2 express..
EXAM: Lot of guts 2 express,but no thoughts in mind!
Hilarous but Romantic Lines:
Boy to Girl: I Luv you so much that i see your face in other girls and i cant stop myself from loving them.
A phone cnvrstation
Lady:Hello,R u Anil?
Man: Yes
Lady: I think u r the fathr of 1 of my chldren
Man: (In an afraid &disturbed voice) Oh my god..R u Reena?
Lady: No
Man:Meena?
Lady:Nnno
Man: U r Sarah..m sure.
Lady in total confusion): No Sir..
I'm sheeba, d Class teacher of ur son..!!
When You Have Done Wrong And You Are In
Trouble, Go To Your Parents For A Sound
Advice,
.
.
.
.
.
U'll Get,
,
,
,
99% Sound 1% Advice... :D
A girl watching cricket match had painted the national flag on her face
An intelligent boy kissed & said
"I Love my Country..!"
What is Mixed Emotion??
Ans:Ur WORST ENEMY Falls from the 7th Floor On Ur Brand New MERCEDES CAR & u don't know Whether to LAUGH or CRY...!
Fortunately women have the miraculous ability to change the meaning of their actions after the event!!
If u forget me,
i'll hang myself wid noodles,
cut my hand wid a rubber knife
blast my head with a water Gun.
stop smiling u idiot,
i'm serious dont 4get me!:)
THE FACEBOOK EFFECT
Madam: Useless maid. Why didnt you come last week?That too without informing me??
Housemaid: Oye madam... I had updated my facebook status as "will be out of town for a week...." SIR knows that and he even commented "come soon, Miss you ! ! !"
New Theory-
"Argument Wins D Person, But Loses D Relation..
So, Don't Argue With Ur Frnds
Just..
.
.
.
Slap Them & Say- I'm Always Correct.."
Wen sm1 is so sweet 2 u,
dnt expct dat dey'l b lyk dat all d tym,
Cz evn d swtst choclate hs an expiry date..
.
.
.
Try wine. .No expiry,
older d bettr!;-)
William Shakespeare once said..
"D real problem doesn't start wen a boy starts looking at a girl...It begins wen she turns back & gives a smile".
Sweet demand by a kid?
He was beaten up by his mom.
Dad asked wt hpnd son?
Kid said i cant adjust wth ur wife anymore,i want my own wife!!
4 Luvable Words-
"I vl STUDY Hard"
3 Swt Wrds-
"I LUV Studyng"
2 Special wrds-
"Letz STUDY"
&
Only
1
Ultimate
Wrd-
"TOMORROW"
Kid's LOVE letter:
DEER Pinky,
I lv u. My dream icu. Evrywer i c pink, u mind cum. If U no, i no live. I cum blck shirt tmrw. Pls U love i, u cum black frock. I wait up mango tree. if U no cum, I jump tree. Sure come
Ur's lovely,
Tinku
UKG A.
Girl replies
DEER,
face Mummy angry. Lock me room. I no no come. U no no jump. I now know U love i, so i luv U.
Ur letter C mummy.Mummy tel pappa. Pappa tel mummy. All beat me,
Urs lovely
Pinky,
UKG B.
A couple celebrated their 25 th marriage anniversary.They were famous for not having fought in 25 years.
Guests:sir, its amazing, how did u make it possible?
Husband: let me tel u a story... We went to shimla for honey moon. We did horse riding. My wife's horse was crazy one. On that way, it jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. She patted the horse's back, nd said, "this is your 1st time". After a while, it happened again. She said "this is ur 2nd time" nd continued, when d horse dropped her 3rd time, she silently took over a revolver nd shot that horse. I shouted: what did u do u psycho! U killed d poor animal. R u crazy? She gave a silent look nd said, " this is ur 1st time"!
Husband: that's it.... And since, we are happy ever after..
Wife: Shal v Try Diffrnt Positn Tonight?
Hsbnd:"Excelnt idea"
Wife:U Stand at Sink & Wash Dishes,I'll Lie On Sofa & Watch TV
MORAL:I dont send dirty jokes
Total disaster :-)
2 frnds were walkin but suddenly dey stopped.
1st frnd: oh My God! My GF & My Wife r comin together..
2nd frnd-damn !
Mine too!
A funny life cycle,
COCKROACH is afraid of RAT.
RAT of CAT.
CAT of DOG.
DOG of MAN.
MAN of his GIRLFRND n
GIRLFRND OF COCKROACH!!
HOLIDAY TIPS By a Travel Co.;
Going to Bangkok with wife is
just like
going to 5 Star Hotel with ur own chapattis in a tiffin box....!!!
WHICH IS THE MOST DANGEROUS ALPHABET ?
" W "!!
'COZ ALL WORRIES START WITH "W"
WHO?
WHY?
WHAT?
WHEN?
WHICH?
WHOM?
WHERE?
WAR!
WINE! FINALLY Women&WIFE!
Why is Facebook such a big hit? It works on the principle that- "People r more interested in others life than their own!':D
'It is said tht if u close ur eyes ,u see the person u love the most...bt wen i do dat...
.
.
.
slideshow begins..;-)
Man1:Amng my 4 sons,3 did Engnrng
Man2:4th one?
Man1:Useles fellow,didnt study & bcam a beggar
Man2:Throw him out!
Man1:I Cant,bcoz he's the ONLY 1 who earns!
Bachelors think Married Men r lucky.
Married men think that Bachelors r lucky.
The point is that
Bachelors think at night
&
Married men think during day !!
A boy's eye is faster than Google in searching beautiful girl in a crowd
But
a boy's heart is slower than govt bus while proposing a girl.
Dropadi lived alne with 5men.. Goutam budha didnt listen 2his mther & went out. Robin hood was thief. Tarzan walked without clothes on. Cindrella lied and sneaked out at night to attend a party.. These r the stories our parents raised us with & people complain our generation is messed up!
Introducing T-20 format in exams-
>Reduce exam time by 2hr and marks by 50.
>Introduce stratagic time out after every 30 minutes.
>Give free hit marks for unexpected questions.
>1st 30 mins power play-no supervisor in the class.
>Cheer girls in every class.They will dance when ANY STUDENT takes an additionl sheet!.
I askd my heart, "Why can't i sleep at night?"
My heart said, "Its cuz u slept in the aftnoon! Don't OVER ACT as if u r in love
Girls dnt like 2 study much . .y?
Bcz they knw dat in any corner f d world atleast 1 sweet idiot s studyng & workng fr them and their future.. Lazy girls!!
A Rabbit runs, jumps&lives only for 15 yrs!
.
A Turtle does'nt run,does nothing,yet lives for 300 yrs!
.
Moral:
EXERCISE IS HELL...
SLEEP WELL.!!
Height of misunderstanding... IPL T20 Flash News!!!
"All boys Performed well last night. I was fully satisfied..."
- Shilpa Shetty ;
Christopher Columbus was 41 yrs old when he discovered America . . . . . . . . . . . Well I was only 14 when I discovered Naughty America!
How do FRNDZ help in problems?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
They give the most stupid suggestion that will make us laugh and forget d problem!
Thought for the night ''Dont waste time thinking about ur past or future Better kill some mosquitoes in that time so u can sleep peacefully.. good night" :)
World's mst crazy website
Anythng can hapen
wen u log on . .
Sum faint . .
Sum start laughing
Som cry . .
som go mad . .
www.results.in...
If one Teacher can't teach all the subjects Then How the hell can you Possibly expect one student to learn All of them...??
REAL PAIN!
Kumble raised his bat wen he reached 40 RUN
Ponting:its not 50 nor 100
Why raised bat?
Kumble rpl
"only engineers know imprtnce of scoring 40"
PS: Pass Mark 40 for exams.
PS: Pass Mark 40 for exams.
Teacher was teaching mahabaratha to 6th std.
"Kamsa heard dat devaki's 8th son wud kil him
So he put devaki &vasudev in prison.
1st child born, Kamsa kils it by poison.
2nd child born, kils by sword.
3rd is born,"
At dis point a boy raises his hand 4 a doubt.
D teacher is surprised & asks wat?
D boy says "if kamsa knew tat d 8th son wud kill him, then y did he put devaki & vasudev in same cell?"
Teacher faints!
Generation gap..
Exams are like girl friends
difficult 2 understand
,too many questions
,more explanations are needed
And results r most of the time fail!
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
Smartest thing Tintumon evr did: He changed al his passwords 2 'incorrect'
So wenevr he 4gets, d computer wil remind him
"ur password is 'incorrect"
I trust u a lot bcoz u r close 2 me,
bt Y do u talk behind me?
Y r u teling evrybody dat i'm
BORN GENIUS..!
I hate publicity..
10Years before people used 2 wake up and 1st C GOD's image.
Now a days people wake up and first C
How many msgs and missed calls r there..
When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer??
Cute song sung by a boy on break up:
"Give me some sunshine,
Give me some rain;
Give me some other girl's number,
I am single once again!!
CRAZY LINES:
If you cry on seeing the question paper it is an insult.
If your teacher cries on seeing your answer paper, it is your achievement..
Newton Ki Grlfrnd:- Hw m i looking today?
Newton:-
Tan C/Sin C
Grlfrnd:- Wat..?
Newton:-
Tan C/Sin C
= SinC/CosC/SinC
= 1/Cos C
= 'Sec C'
(sexy)
A Sardaar
with B. COM Degree
sees a poster
in a Police Station:
Two ENGINEERS
Wanted For Rape !
Sardaar Bola-
Shit Man,
Engineers always get the best Jobs !
5 wrds women say:
1. FINE
Dis is d wrd women use 2 end an argument wen dey r right & u need 2 shut up
2.FIVE MINUTES
If she is gettin dressed,dis means 45mins
3. NOTHING
Dis is d calmness b4 d storm.Dis means sumthing & u should be on ur toes.Argumnts dt begin wid NOTHIN usualy end in FINE
4. GO AHEAD
Dis is a dare,nt a permison.Dnt do it
5. LOUD SIGH
Dis means she thinks u r an idiot & is deciding hw n wen u wil pay 4 ur mistaks
Snd dis 2 ol d guys u knw 2 warn dem abt argumnts dey cn avoid if dey remmbr d terminolgy.Snd dis 2 ol d girls u knw 2 gv dem a gud laugh bcoz dey knw its true...
Gold night.
Sorry,im vry sleEpy,
if thre s ani smelling mintake,ten plz carrot it n road.
Plz dont bisstake me..Gud fight..
Sleep in a well..! sweat drums.:
A REAL FACT,
"No matter whether guys buy 220cc BAJAJ PULSAR or 350cc ROYAL ENFIELD,, It cannot overtake a beautiful girl on 80cc Scooty Pep"
I was rejected in a job interview Yesterday
bCoz
wen i was asked to give an example of gud team work,
i replied
''Gang-Rape''.!
Every expectation should be an expression of our feeling out of all emotions and common erosion of suspension.
MORAL: i didnt understand, do you??
No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words 'complete' and 'finished' in a way that's so easy to understand:
Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED but there is:
When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE....
And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED.....
And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are .........COMPLETELY FINISHED !!!
An old lady always gav d bus conductor cashew nuts n almonds 2 eat.
CONDUCTOR:"So kind of u dat u gimme those nuts 2 eat. y dnt u eat dem urself?"
OLD LADY:"I dnt hve teeth 2 munch dem."
CONDUCTOR:"den y did u buy dem?"
OLD LADY:"I just luv d chocolate arnd dem"
"Alcohol is not the Answer 2 all the questions"
-Swami Vivekananda
"But it helps u to forget the Questions"
-Vijay Mallya.:D
-Swami Vivekananda
"But it helps u to forget the Questions"
-Vijay Mallya.:D
Boy got rejected And Girl got selected in an Interview for the same reason..why???
:
:
Both of them had their first button of shirt opened!!
8 yr old son: Dad wat is sex? Dad gets tensed but explains everything 2 him. Kid: But dad how do i write all that in dis small box of school admission form?
FOUR stages of girl & boy relation..
1)hand in hand.
2)that in hand.
3)hand in that.
4)that in that.
If u understood fwd it.
Others go & watch pogo :D
For a boy its easier 2 pick up a girl of weight 50kg,bt for d same boy its quiet difficult 2 pick up a gas cylindr of weight 14.2 kg!!
Funny truth-
No one is as ugly as their voter's id pic:-( nor
as good-looking as their Facebook profile pic:-)
To all frnds
who sent me
love & best wishes
in my life
& prayed 4 my success...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Its not working.. :-(
pray harder kidz....
It's a humble request to all my dear frnds, plz stop sending religious and prsnl msg like ''frwrd to 10 people otherwise bad luck will follow u'' coz these are making fun of our GOD and parents.
Luck does not change by sending sms, it changes with hardwork and dedication.please coperate to stop this nonsense.
send this atleast 20 people otherwise u will die with in 2 days...!! :D
